The IPod Troubles
by InvisiblePuppeteer
Summary: IPods, dancing, and no pants-oh my! But let's not forget an unfortunately fortunate Wyatt Cain who stumbles upon a dancing princess with no pants! Rated 'T' because of rampant paranoia.


_**So, I'm taking a break from Healing Wounds One by One, to try my hand at this oneshot and I'm hoping my muse will return for Healing Wounds. But nonetheless, I will not drop Healing Wounds. Onto my Drabble.**_

The Ipod Troubles

DG could barely contain her excitement. Her mother…That just sounded wrong. Her mother was Emily, whether or not she was a robot. The Queen—that was better—allowed DG to return to Kansas for one hour to grab whatever she wanted. She had made a list before leaving and the number one item is what she was currently reveling in.

Her Ipod. She had spent her own, hard earned cash to get a used Ipod off a friend of hers. Her friend had sold it to her only because he was getting a new version. She had been passed excited and in her several months in the OZ, had mourned the loss of her beloved music. She had a huge collection of almost every genre. She had everything from show tunes to heavy metal. Love songs to songs of destruction and violence. She had music to suit everyone's tastes.

The day after she had gotten her beloved Ipod back she had rushed to Glitch, terrified because she realized that in the OZ there was no way to charge it. With the help of Toto and Glitch, DG learned to literally use herself to charge the Ipod. She could transfer small, very miniscule, amounts of magic into the device to allow it to continue working.

And…that's what lead to this…very tense and awkward situation she was is with the one and only Wyatt Cain.

It had been a loooooooooooong day. DG was pushed to the breaking point. She was sexually frustrated, done with the suitors' bullshit, and not to mention that it was beyond hot. The Queen was forcing these potential 'marriage matches' down DG's throat and the suitors were simpering, sniveling, simpletons or haughty, rude, and overly confident bastards. She had just finished with one of the stupid ones after dealing with the haughty ones. Both of them Dukes of somewhere or another and both boring as hell. The first was about a dumb as a brick, and yet seemed to think that he knew everything and dared to suggest that he would have done better at toppling the Witch than Wyatt did. The second one bowed to DG's every whim and thought. He agreed with everything she said, even when she said some questionable things, just to see what kind of boundaries this one had. Turned out he was willing to do anything, so long as it didn't get him into trouble with anyone. By the end of that get-to-know you session, DG stormed out—even though she knew she had one more suitor to deal with. DG and suitors plus extreme heat did not bode well together.

She had had enough. She was frustrated and mad and perhaps slightly horny…. Or maybe a little more than slightly. But it didn't matter, because no man in this palace was going to help her. The only man she even wanted to do the deed with was one Wyatt Cain. But he wasn't hers to be with. He was still mourning his wife. Every time she thought of him in a sexual way she began to feel guilty. He wasn't hers to fantasize about.

With an angry and down casted sigh, she dismissed the guard standing in her ante chamber with a wave of her hand and slammed the door that lead from her front room to her bedroom. She went for the device she had been wishing for all day long and put her headphones in. Quickly moving to her first playlist she let the music wash over her. The mixtures of songs were just what she needed to calm down.

After a moment of thought she decided to rid herself of the very uncomfortable pants she was wearing. t was simply too hot. She shimmied out of them and tossed them toward the door without a second thought.

Her attention turned back to her IPod and with a fondness she smiled at the songs that were coming on—they were not exactly princess-y. DG suspected a few of them would get her Ipod destroyed by the Queen if she heard them. But at the moment DG didn't care. She only cared about the beat of the music and the sound pouring into her ears.

And that's exactly where things went south.

DG didn't notice when Wyatt Cain walked into the room. He had come in to chastise her for leaving without telling anyone and then find out if she was ok. He knew that she wasn't happy about the suitors and to be honest, neither was he. He truly loved DG and was furious about the Queen pressuring DG to take a husband. He knew he didn't have a chance with the young, vibrant princess. But…he couldn't help his feelings. Inwardly he scoffed, Jeb had even noticed Wyatt's affections for the girl and given his blessing, which was a huge deal for Wyatt. Wyatt was just too polite and far too gentlemanly to approach DG. Ozma, she was almost three years older than his son.

Wyatt couldn't quite explain what he saw. At least…not without blushing and forgetting how to speak. Here he was—innocent intentions and everything—and he walks in on the youngest princess.

In her panties and what she called a t-shirt. Dancing. As in, shaking her ass and swinging her body around the bedroom. Not a care in the world.

Well, it was easy to say that Wyatt was officially stunned and struck speechless. He figured that this was the most shocking thing he'd ever seen. But nope. Fate decided to prove him wrong.

DG started to sing and that's when his eyes grew wide and he realized that she had no idea he was in the room.

" 'Cause I may be bad, but I am perfectly good at it! Sex in the air, I don't care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips—" DG swung around as she was singing and her eyes grew wide as they fell on what looked to be an angry Tim Man slash bodyguard. The only thought going through her mind was torn between 'Holy hell' and 'oops'. Oh, she was going to be in so much trouble. "ex-excite…me…" she tapered off. She was frozen like a deer in headlights—the music still blasting in her ears, suddenly nonexistent. She swallowed and opened her mouth, but she couldn't seem to begin an explanation.

It totally didn't help that Wyatt Cain had yet to speak. _Why wasn't he speaking? Oh, God, he looks so angry…_ She thought.

Wyatt was attempting to translate what she was singing. It was in English. That much was certain. And he knew the meaning of all those words…and yet they did not compute. 'Huh?' was all that was going through his mind. That and that DG looked rather excellent in her panties…

They stared at each other. Neither of them speaking. Awkward filled the air like it had never done before between the two of them.

"So…?" DG started. This was not like her Tin Man. He wouldn't ever let things get awkward and he certainly would never stare at her when she was in her underwear. He'd had turned around and blushed and apologized by now. _Oh, Great Gale! I've broken him!_ DG's brain panicked.

"Uhm… So, Princess. What's—uh—what's going on here?"

"Well…Tin Man…I was..uh…" DG had no answer that wasn't obvious.

"You are quite beautiful. You know that, Darlin'?" Wyatt gulped as he said what he was thinking, but had no original plans to say it. Well… He'd already started his trip to unemployment, so he might as well go all the way. "Have thought so for a while now. Was hopin' that you wouldn't mind that I thought so."

"I—uh—no. I don't mind." Well this was officially the most awkward moment she had had in long time. "W-Wyatt?"

"Yah, Darlin'?"

"Could you hand me my pants?"

Wyatt complied and DG slipped them on more quickly than she thought ever possible, "So…What's all this about?"

"Came to see about you, Princess. Actually, came to tell you off for leaving without tellin' me. You worry me when you disappear like that. Then I was informed by a guard that you were in your in your room and had rushed out in a huff—I'm thinkin' that it's because of the suitors, isn't it?"

"Yah. I've told the Queen that I'm in love with someone, but she keeps insisting that I look for a husband, because she thinks that this man won't love me back."

Worry stuck Wyatt. Who could she possibly love that wouldn't love her back…and how could she be in love? It hurt that she was in love, but only because Wyatt knew that it wouldn't be him. He was just a washed up Tin Man. His body was not old, due to that damn tin can and its nature to keep the human in a non-aging state. But many saw him as old. With his time in the suit added in he figured his body was in its thirties. But in the years he had spent in the world, he was in his late forties. There was no way DG would love him. He didn't have a chance. "So, who is the lucky bastar—young man?" He corrected quickly.

DG shot the man an odd look. He couldn't tell? "A very handsome man. He's older than me and very brave. He is always there when I need him."

Wyatt scoured his memory for a man to fit DG's description… "Glitch? You're in love with that half-wit?" Oh, Wyatt was mad. Furious, in fact. Glitch was not good enough for DG.

"Eww! No! Gross, Wyatt!" DG wrinkled up her nose and shook her head, in an attempt to get the thought out of head. "I'd be having a three-some with Az and Glitch!"

"What? A three-some? I didn't know Az and Glitch were together."

"I don't want to think about that, Wyatt!"

Angry Wyatt couldn't hold it back. He was tired of playing around and he was going to be fired for his previous comment on her body anyway and he was already angry. Might as well say what needs saying. "Then who is it, DG? Who is the bastard who has stolen your heart?" Something occurred to him. "And damn it, when have you been sneaking out to see him? I've told you—time and time again. It's dangerous to go on your own. Plus, sneaking out in the middle of the night? How absolutely stupid of you, DG."

Tears formed in DG's eyes. She could feel them pricking behind her eyelids. "Wy-Wyatt?" What was he talking about?

Rage goaded him on, not really hearing his own words or thinking about them, "Or is it more than one man? From what you were singin' earlier, I should wonder if it is more than one man."

Affronted DG asked in a desperate whisper, "Are you calling me a whore, Mr. Cain?"

Ignoring her tears and he almost continued, but was struck by the words he was saying to her. He was being cruel to her and telling her off because of his anger. "I—Princess, I'm sorr—"

"No! Wyatt Cain, you do not get to say that to me." DG pulled in a choked breath. "How dare you! I can't believe you didn't figure it out. I gave you my heart and you didn't even notice. You accuse me of being a whore? A prostitute? Do you think so lowly of me? You horrible man! I put every bit of faith in you and I trusted you! You—I know you always thought of me like a job and that you had to protect me because of that damn promise, but damn it, Cain! I thought maybe…just maybe. You know what? I don't need you. I can protect myself. I don't need and I don't want someone around me who is going to judge me and call me a slut. Don't you think I have enough people judging me? Isn't that what the media and the public are for? To judge and condemn my every action?" Fury and pain dripped from every word, "And not that it is any of your business, but just so you know. I have never been anyone's casual fuck. Never. There was only one other man and I truly loved him, but he went off to war. Ok? So do me a favor and fuck off, Mr. Cain. I—I never want to see you again. I—I thought you were my friend, but your no different than the people on the Otherside and the other fuckers."

"DG, I—Wait!"

"No!" She bellowed, "No. You do not call me so informally." Her voice broke. "You aren't my friend and I was wrong to love you." Her head spun and her stomach clenched at her own words.

"DG, please." Wyatt begged, reaching his hand for her.

She backed away from him, shaking her head slowly, "Get out." Her hand came to rest on her side table and her legs felt the side of her bed.

"Darlin'. Let me explain!"

"No! Get out!" Her right hand found the vase filled with flowers on the side table and the poor flowers, who had done nothing wrong, found themselves being pitched toward the Tin Man's head. Tears streamed down the face of the princess and Wyatt knew that it was his fault. He should have let the vase hit him upside his head, but true to his nature, Wyatt dodge and the vase hit the wall. A shard of the blue vase caught him just barely under his eye. He lifted a hand and felt the warm, sticky blood on his skin.

DG had curled up on the floor next to the bed and was sobbing so hard her body convulsed.

Wyatt wiped the back of his hand across the cut on his cheek and edged down as he walked toward the Princess. "Darlin', I'm so sorry. I…I shouldn't have said any of that. I was upset and took it out on you." He reached out his hand, "Please, sweetheart." Wyatt's hand never reached its destination. DG's magic flared out and a shining, shimmering bubble formed around her. Wyatt tapped it gently, but his hand was repelled. "What the—?"

Someone burst into the room and Wyatt straightened and turned on his heel. Quickly he crouched and pulled his Chamelot-Delvigne from its holster. His actions proved to be unnecessary as the person showed himself to be Glitch.

"I heard a crash! What happened?"

"Nothing, Zip. Go away. We're havin' an argument and now I'm apologizing. So, get out."

Ignoring Cain, Glitch walked up to DG, "Doll? Hey, Doll. Are you ok? What did he say to you?" DG and Wyatt often got into arguments, but not one of them had left DG crying with an energy field around her. She didn't say anything and Wyatt suddenly found himself pressed up against the nearest wall. "What did you say to her, Cain?" Gone was Glitch, the happy-go-lucky friend and in his place was Ambrose, the strict advisor with a great sense of rhythm "Did you hurt her?" He ground out between his teeth, slowly adding more and more weight and pressure to the Tin Man's throat.

"No." Not physically, he mentally added. "I'll take care of this."

"You better. DG loves you in more ways than one. Do not hurt her."

"I love her too, and I'd rather die than hurt her." He said truthfully. He never wanted to hurt her and he felt like he needed to be locked in that damn tin can again. He was worthy of being locked in his prison for the rest of eternity…

The Royal Advisor released the former Tin Man and turned to DG. He reached out and grabbed DG, her bubble having no effect. Evidently it was just to keep Wyatt out. Glitch wrapped his arms around the girl and whispered something in her ear. Wyatt watched as DG's eyes grow wide and nod her head in understanding or agreement to whatever the man said. Glitch left the room, shutting the door silently. Wyatt heard Glitch demand to the guards that no one was to enter until DG and Wyatt came out. They were not to be disturbed.

"DG," he tried to get her attention, "Princess…please can I explain?" He asked, his heart bleeding and in anguish. When the princess still did not respond he took decided to talk anyway. "I didn't mean it. Any of it…" He sat on the floor next to her, but with a reasonable distance that she had demanded by putting up her force field. He put his head in his hands. "I didn't mean it, sweetheart." He felt tears prick at his eyes. He couldn't believe himself. Oh, Ozma, he was such an ass and if DG didn't forgive him… "I don't think you're a whore…I don't really think that. I promise. I know you're under a lot of pressure and I understand that you're stressed out. I know that you don't think I understand and that I don't feel your stress and pain when the Queen parades you in front of stuffed shirt morons. It hurts, Darlin'. It hurts seeing you shown off and forced to pick a consort because…I want you to myself. I don't want you to pick anyone but me. I'm a little selfish and selfishly…I want to court you and woo you. I want you to fall into my arms and let me love you. I don't want to have to watch you fall for someone else... I—I can't watch you fall for someone else." His voice pleaded for her to understand. It begged and beseeched. "DG. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I was angry. I want you to love me the way I love you."

DG sniffed and a slight hiccup jolted her body. "I did love you." She said, her voice trembling and pitiable.

"Darlin', how many times do you need me to say sorry for you to believe it? I'll say it a thousand times more than you ask for…." He paused, unsure if she wanted him to continue talking. He could hardly believe he was talking so much—he'd just said more than he ever would in a single day… well, for Deege, he decided that he could ramble forever if that's what made her happy.

When DG didn't respond verbally, just a sniff, he continued on with the last statement he could think of. "I'll spend my life making it up to you."

"W-wyatt. You hurt me. That hurt."

"I know." As if he didn't already feel like an ass.

"I never thought you'd hurt me, Wyatt."

Oh, Ozma. He was going to shoot himself. If she kept this up he was very likely to just BANG! right through his temple with his Chamelot-Delvigne. "I'm sorry…"

She turned her head away from him. Yup, it was official. He was going to shoot himself for stupidity. Right now…he was going to shoot himself right now.

"W-why did you have to say that Wyatt? Is it because I wear Othersider clothes? Is it because I act differently? I-I don't think the way you guys do. When I hugged Jeb after he'd come home after the Longcoat hunting trip, I didn't know." She sobbed.

Wyatt's memory swung back to that day. DG had gotten word that Jeb would be returning and was even happier that Wyatt was. She was ecstatic and practically bounced up and down until Jeb was within pouncing distance. She'd lunged at his son and threw her arms around him…in public; in front of dignitaries and an ambassador, few of the servants, and the Consort himself. Word of a possible scandal had reached the queen's ears and DG had been dragged out of bed at five am the next morning for the scolding of a life time. Wyatt had actually thought someone was attacking her and flew into her rooms at the first sound of screaming, no shirt and his Chamelot-Delvigne pointed, ready to clear the room or take down an attacker. Unfortunately for DG, Wyatt's actions caused the Queen to go full throttle. She literally screamed herself hoarse telling off her young daughter. She was seriously so furious that for the next week DG was not allowed out of her rooms. Etiquette teachers were brought in and three of the four had run out of DG's room cry or with something drastically wrong with them. The fourth one just never showed back up. DG never spoke of that week and she never mentioned what she did to make the poor women cry. DG's relationship with her biological mother fractured and as far as Wyatt knew DG hadn't spoken to the Queen unless she absolutely had too…and even then she was cold towards the queen.

"I didn't grow up learning that hugs were bad and that I couldn't slouch in a chair," she choked out. Suddenly Wyatt felt DG throw herself into his arms and weep.

She cried out every single doubt she had and sobbed for every loss she blamed herself for as she cried into his chest.

And Wyatt had never seen her like this. He doubted he'd ever see her like this again. She'd met a breaking point… and he'd been the cause of it—abandoning her when she needed him most and accusing her of falsities.

When DG finally calmed down as best she could she was left with hiccups and a few dry sobs, "I still hate you right now."

Wyatt took a deep breath and told her that she had every right to. "How can I make it up to you?"

"Start with some Excedrin," and as an afterthought she requested some water.

He froze…not knowing what this Excedrin was. "Where do I find Excedrin?"

DG staggered to her feet and commanded that he get her water, "I'll get the pills."

Deciding to leave well enough alone he ventured into her bathroom and got water from the sink for her in a glass that she kept next to the faucet. "Here ya' go." With little energy DG threw the pills towards the back of her throat and downed the tall glass of water in moments. Wyatt glanced over DG. Her face was blotchy and her cheeks were wet and had her make up smeared across them. Her hair was mussed and she was pinching her eyes shut. "My head hurts," she groaned and she fell backwards onto her bed.

Wyatt's heart fell slightly. He didn't like it when she wasn't feeling good and he wanted to take care of her, but it seemed more like he was being dismissed, despite his declaring his love for her…but he could understand how the love part got lost in translation. "Deege?"

"Yeah?"

"I do love you," he reminded her gently. She didn't even move—didn't get up or even open her eyes. "I'll see ya later then." He straightened his jacket out and scooped up his hat where it had fallen on the floor and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" DG asked, slowly drawing out her words.

With a shuffle, he looked back at her. She still hadn't moved an inch and he told her that he was going to let her rest.

"Nu-uh. Get your ass back here, Tin Man," and when he didn't respond she continued, "This headache is your entire fault. Get your ass back here and lay down with me."

"That would be inappropriate… but even so, how would that help?" He inquired curiously.

DG growled, "Don't care. Your fault. Ass on bed—now."

Wyatt let out a loud yelp as he felt an invisible force shoved him towards DG's bed, "No magic needed, darlin'," another shove, "Stop it." One more push and he was only a step away from the bed. "Alright, alright. I get it. Stop with the shovin'." He grudgingly fought with himself for a second. It was clear that all she wanted was to be held, but part of him was arguing that it was inappropriate and he didn't want to take advantage of her when she was upset.

"Alright, Mr. Tin Man. Here's your choice. Lay down with me for a nap or I will tell everyone in the castle that you made me cry. Starting with Az and then with Jeb."

Wyatt reared his head back, his eyes opened slightly wider. He could only imagine how Az would react…but he had no wish to go up against his son. He'd never want to be on his son's bad side and Jeb was a loyal to Deege as he was. Cain verus Cain—the older one, being himself, would not survive. So he quickly, but calmly divested himself of his coat, hat, and then gun and its holster, placing all of them on the side table where the flowers once sat. He then lowered himself onto the bed and pulled DG close to him, resting her against his chest. "You'll be the death of me, sweetheart."

She just hummed her agreement and soon fell asleep. He sighed knowing that he was suddenly in very deep over his head. But he would be fine and now that DG would let him he would be able to do what he did best—protect his loved ones.

And he would. He'd protect her from everything he could… he'd spend the rest of his time with her making up for his actions today. Wyatt began to drift off as well; how could one not when they were comfortable and the one they loved was safely in their arms?

And suddenly in the quiet his ears picked up on a small sound—voices so quiet that he'd only hear them if everything was still. It took him several moments to realize that DG's music device that had started this whole debacle that was still playing. He took a moment to reach across his sleeping woman to grab the electronic where it had fallen somehow during the argument.

As he lifted up the small Ipod the screen lit up and something called a playlist appeared. It was titled 'Wyatt'. Hesitantly he pulled the long cord with the circular end up to his ear and listened to the songs she'd picked out for him. Some of them were sad, others were happy, and a couple of them were downright naughty.

Well… they were definitely going to have to talk to help ensure her mother never, ever got a hold of this thing.


End file.
